i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
