how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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