so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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