you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
