your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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