I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
