She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
