Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize