Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize