Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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