Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
