It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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