I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
