haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
