She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
