11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
