i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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