During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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