i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
