nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize