Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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