and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
