Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
