you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize