Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
