I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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