smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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