her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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