Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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