Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize