I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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