dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
