I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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