Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
