I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
