I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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