Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
