Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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