Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
