Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
