Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
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Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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