For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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