Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
