if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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