Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
