I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
