I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize