I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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