Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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