My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize