youre lurking in front of me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
