Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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