She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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