I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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