Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
