I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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