Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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