in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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