I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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