she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
