my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
