How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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