It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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